I wish I was a dog

Animals have an amazing ability to live in the moment. As humans, we too often forget to do this, if we ever remember it at all.

I have a tendency to fantasize, to live in a dream world. It's something I'm working on. But I'm noticing that as I work on it and as I curb my imaginary future life, the fantasies don't go away entirely. They just assume a smaller scope. I plan out conversations in my head, conversations which may never happen, and which will almost certainly never happen the way I've imagined them to.

And I constantly correct myself, or try to, when talking with people. Even people who are my friends. "Did I give the wrong impression when I said that? What can I say to correct that impression? What if I didn't give the wrong impression, but I say something - just in case because I feel I did - and then the wrong impression is given after the fact?"

Can you tell I agonize over it?

How do I learn to live in the moment? How do I learn to just be present and accept each experience as it happens, and let it flow naturally, not try to guide it or plan it or control it in any way? How do I relinquish the fantasy and the idyll - or even the nightmare - that I build at each moment and let the reality of the moment exist?

I use a breathing technique in meditation that is designed to focus awareness on the breath, to make you conscious of each moment and movement. I can feel the air moving across my upper lip and through my nostrils, filling my lungs, compressing the diaphragm and expanding my abdomen.

Why can I not focus like this at each moment outside of meditation? What is the block that prevents me from making that connection? Is it that I'm over-thinking? Am I trying too hard to anticipate the needs of the person across from me? Am I too conscious of myself and how I appear to them? How do I disable this so I can enjoy each encounter, each conversation, each moment as it's intended - as it happens?

Sometimes I wish I was a dog and none of this was an issue.